Virus Hoax, Alert, Fraud, Chain Letter and Urban Legend Information
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You are probably well aware of the problems caused by the many hoax "virus alerts" which are spread by well meaning people on the Internet. The "Urban Legend" type of hoaxes are just as bad and are made worse when sent from a reputable source.
Please read the information below and try to understand how important it is not to fill up everyone's e-mail in-boxes with bad information (junk).
Feel free to link to this page and to send this address http://www.stockhelp.net/virus.html to anyone else who sends you such information and to subscribe to our mailing list.
The people on my mailing list have learned long ago that if they get a virus alert or a warning or call to action of some kind that they should either ignore them, send them to me only or do the homework and look at the sites referenced below to see if it is already reported as a hoax. If it is not reported then I have it checked out by some of the top people in the field of Information Security and they let me know whether it is real or not.
In the past nine years, only five incidents out of many hundreds of thousands reported have actually turned out to be real.
Thank you.
Bill Austin
Here are some other good guidelines to use to identify a hoax:
There are several methods to identify virus hoaxes, but first consider what makes a successful hoax on the Internet.
There are two known factors that make a successful virus hoax, they
are:
(1) technical sounding language, and
(2) credibility by association.
If the warning uses the proper technical jargon, most individuals, including technologically savvy individuals, tend to believe the warning is real. For example, the Good Times hoax says that "...if the program is not stopped, the computer's processor will be placed in an nthcomplexity infinite binary loop which can severely damage the processor..." The first time you read this, it sounds like it might be something real. With a little research, you find that there is no such thing as an nthcomplexity infinite binary loop and that processors are designed to run loops for weeks at a time without damage.
When we say credibility by association, we are referring to whom sent the warning. If the janitor at a large technological organization sends a warning to someone outside of that organization, people on the outside tend to believe the warning because the company should know about those things. Even though the person sending the warning may not have a clue what he is talking about, the prestige of the company backs the warning, making it appear real. If a manager at the company sends the warning, the message is doubly backed by the company's and the manager's reputations.
Individuals should also be especially alert if the warning urges you to pass it on to your friends. This should raise a red flag that the warning may be a hoax.
Another flag to watch for is when the warning indicates that it is a Federal Communication Commission (FCC) warning. According to the FCC, they have not and never will disseminate warnings on viruses. It is not part of their job.
Please ignore any messages regarding these supposed "viruses" and do not pass on any messages about them. Passing on messages about these hoaxes only serves to further propagate them.
The warning bulletins that are included with these hoaxes look very authentic and can fool even experienced computer users and support professionals. These hoaxes are attempts to overload email systems and to create panic. Please don't circulate them. If you have access to a web browser and would like more detailed information on these hoaxes, you can find it at the Department of Energy's CIAC web site. You'll find the information at http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/bulletins/h-05.shtml.
There are some great parodies of these hoaxes and alerts. These have been floating around for years and I do not know the original source:
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer (20' range at 72 farenheit). It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles . It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother's number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its' dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear 1940's hits and static while stuck in traffic.
"Badtimes" will make you fall in love with soemone who is like your Ex. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of "Badtimes", it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
It will rewrite your back-up files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretation of key sentences.
"Badtimes" will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid. PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
Subject: NEW Gullibility Virus Warning (READ CAREFULLY!)
READ CAREFULLY!
This could be important information to post widely, such as in organization newsletters!
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WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
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WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their In Box or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, E-Mail viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes [perhaps conspiracy theories should be included here].
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friend s forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting an d state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recom mend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their fa vorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community.
Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources. Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.
Subject: Stupid Chain Letter
Hello, my name is Amanda Bundy. I am suffering from a rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site will get 6 cents every time you send me the letter. Coincidentally, her name is Amanda Bundy too.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to, $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of nonsense.
So basically, this message is to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by little Maria in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2005, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some 'omniscient being'" forwards about 90 times. I don't care. Show
a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
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Make a wish!!! .
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Really, go on and make one!!! .
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! .
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Wish something else!!! .
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Not that, you pervert!! .
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Is your finger getting tired yet? .
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STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty,
here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to people in
the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off
a high building into the sewer. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter
isn't like all of those fake ones,
THIS one is
TRUE!!
Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
*Send this to one person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*20 to 674951 people: 20 to 674951 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is
a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs,
no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because
for everytime you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little
Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull.
So go on, reach out. Send this to five people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!
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Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This
is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not
as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works.
Pass this on to 1,5067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Queer Horror Story #1
Amanda Bundy was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13-year-old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his best friend. They both died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Bundy and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one
of your friends.
Friends
-A friend is someone, who is always at your side
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like dung
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a monkey and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the cleaning lady
-A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, the mutant lizards will eat you.
